Mo Twister is short for Mortifier Twister

Bus ticket inspector, bomb detonator, child vendor, taho vendors, prostitutes, tricycle drivers and SM cashiers are people who  actually go through life-threatening, soul-deadening job-hazards. What they have in their midst is famewhore Mo Twister weeping like a little girl (no offense to little girls) all over the Internet because her ex-girlfriend, Rhian Ramos, as he so classily exposed via a video blog, went through such a tremendously detrimental job-related hazard very unique to beautiful people’s profession: pregnancy.

Not the first of its kind either! Just maybe the first time in a long time that someone involved in THAT KIND OF PREGNANCY decided to intensify the buntis drama this early, because in the 90s or earlier, it usually takes months or years before you hear about someone’s abortion in the States. You’ve heard all about starlets going to the States for medical treatment that involves super secret procedures and barely alive fetuses. Every generation has its share of teen mom starlets/fetus murderers but this time it’s unique because right now, the age of social goddamn media, is such a fabulous moment to let everyone know about everyone’s unborn babies! Got an abortion confession? Leak it and get a billion repost.

Sometimes these Philippine showbiz personalities think they have the monopoly on human suffering. These poor, glamorous, attractive, rich celebrities whose physical beauty’s preservation is imperative to their jobs are so api because when they have sex with their equally glamorous colleagues, they have to always keep in mind that when engaging in sexual acts, they should use protection always because if they get pregnant they will be dropped by their network which is just so mean. Being a celebrity is so hard! Prettiness is oppressive!

On that note, I hope Aljur Abrenica gets pregnant.

This is probably the sort of hate that you can or should throw elsewhere because celebrities have done nothing wrong but thrive in their industry. But they’re celebrities: beautiful, powerful, filthy rich and all over our faces. I don’t mind patronizing the beautiful and the powerful but our artistas, they are spoiled. Also, most of them eventually become our leaders. They rule!

When Anne Curtis rides the MRT, it’s cute because it doesn’t happen in her everyday life. When Anne Curtis rides the MRT, it’s because her limosin is stuck in traffic and she has to get to the Kylie Minogue concert on time because otherwise her 15,000 Peso seat will go to waste. When you ride the MRT it’s because you have no choice as buses are greedy motherfuckers, EDSA is the most inconvenient highway in the whole of Asia and it can only fill one stupid rail line, and that’s a way of life. Not fair! When some starlet gets pregnant and gets an abortion, she gets to keep her endorsement deals and million Peso contracts with their millionaire employees. When a college student gets preggy, she aborts the baby through the neighborhood raspa, or she flushes it on the school’s most abandoned-looking building’s restroom, or her dorm’s backyard, out of which chanak stories emerge, and she suffers as an aborted mother would. The non-artista aborter normally does not get the benefit of a Pia Guanio interview with which to put on a show for how wronged she was.

When Mo Twister, one of the most polarizing people working in local entertainment today, who also happens to live off of celebrity culture and all its trappings, whine, weep, and bemoan the cruelty of this business called showbiz, it’s redundant, crazy, irritating and very… angry blog post-inducing.

So, no, accidentally pregnant starlets and boyfriends of starlets, getting pregnant is not among the worst kind of job hazards there is. Pregnancy is just a personal responsibility that all unprepared women must guard themselves against.

Sometimes I really hate this country’s celebrities. Joke! I hate them most of the time.