Hate List
January 22, 2011
Irritating things I constantly see on the Internet:
1. Note to self: Note to you: doing this on a regular basis makes you look like a pa-cute retard. Extremely annoying when overdone by people who make the web their personal, unlimited, infinite post-it.
2. Dear (what/whoever), please don’t annoy me/(whatever message). As if what you’re doing, addressing a non-living organism or an oblivious person of YOUR stupid complaints or wishes, is not annoying?
3. FTW! FU!
4. Fail! Pasosyal antics of the feeling web-savvy. I hate this so much!
5. People who refer to themselves in the third person ie What will make (loser’s name) happy? It’s just annoying. What will make Pat Session happy is if these hoes stop referring to themselves in the second person. Thanks.
6. Platitudes. I will make this day such a blessing! I can do this! You can also perish.
7. Stupid, useless, corny complaints about any day of week. Thank God It’s Friday! My Monday is boring. Wednesday starts with the letter W. 2 days to go! Weekend is here! I can’t believe it’s Thursday already! THERE ARE SEVEN DAYS IN A WEEK. Get over it.
8. Jesus freaks who praise otherworldly beings such as Jesus unironically. Do yourselves a favor and quit shoving your faith in our faces, it only subjects you to back talk and often well-deserved ridicule. I have faith too but I think faith is best kept to one’s self.
9. Quotes. TV quotes (Grey’s Anatomy, Sex & the City, Spongebob Squarepants), movie quotes (Eat Pray Love), book quotes (The Alchemits, Little Prince, Bob Ong), etc. Not just from these, obviously, but these are the most obvious source of people who brandish their culturedness and pop culture knowledge by quoting from garbage. I do it too, quote, but there’s something about doing it DAILY (and in such frequency!) that just rubs me the wrong way. Don’t mind me. I’m just an illiterate who reads a lot.
10. Witty types. Unless they’re genuinely witty. I have Edgar Allan Poe in my Twitter and he is so far the only truly witty person in my follow list. There are some actual living people who are funny but they tend to be either gay which I find naturally funny or they can be/are funny but they also beat you over the head with their funniness.
11. Englishan blues of people who you know don’t have it in them to actually converse in English in real life but does so on a regular basis on the Internet because it’s such a crime to get caught speaking in your own language on the Internet.
12. Lousily executed action-affectation/verbalization/whatever such as (licks ice cream), (smiles pervily), (hyperventilates), etc. You know them! (hates thoroughly)
13. Bitches who address their acquaintances (parents/whoever the hell else in their family, friends, strangers) on their FB/Twitter and tell them whatever it is that rips their souls apart to say, only it is you who get their message. This habit can be funny, only don’t do it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
14. Popular expression-mongers. Ikaw na! ‘teh! which I find funny back when the gays had exclusive rights to speak it. Straight girls ruined ‘teh.
15. People who make it a habit to give their 10-cents’ worth about anything that trends in Twitter or wherever.
16. Weather forecaster wannabes. It rains, the sun shines and clouds form. Unless something spectacular happens to the weather, there’s not much wittiness you should inject about the state of our skies.
17. Bitches who complain in their blogs because they’re incapable of doing so in real life. The fucking ‘meeks‘. Throw in this bunch the feeling critic types and the know-it-alls. They are utterly despicable.
18. Woot Woot!
19. Lists such as this.
And I quote the great Morrissey, ‘The world is full of crashing bores.’
January 23, 2011 at 5:10 PM
I get it. You hate me with a passion. I don’t mind, though. Momel loves your angst, Pat, and the eloquence that makes it entertaining. See, I just addressed myself in the second person. Can’t help it.
Love #14. So fucking true. I will quote you on that, by and by.
And let me irritate you further with this…
Muahness from Pasig Citehh
January 25, 2011 at 4:01 PM
hahaha. guilty ako sa quote. pero sensible naman. and not daily. and also woot woot! but not daily also hahaha
January 25, 2011 at 4:41 PM
momel, i don’t hate you with a passion. and muahness is not irritating. in short, you’re adorable just the way you are.
jayclops, depende naman sa gumagamit. there are people who are annoying to begin with who become more annoying when they use any of these. hehe. and even if certain people use these sparingly, somebody else will so it’s like you’re bombarded.
February 2, 2011 at 4:23 PM
Haha, fantastic! I can’t think of anything witty to say, and since I can’t click a button to like this post, I’m just going to say: I like this post
February 3, 2011 at 12:13 AM
ajeet, would have been my first like ever. that is really flattering coming from you!
February 8, 2011 at 8:32 PM
I just referred to your number 14. Props and links in your general direction; I like to quote my darling sources.
Muahness from Pasig Citehh!
July 29, 2011 at 9:23 AM
On #5, don’t you mean “in the third person”?
September 15, 2011 at 11:26 PM
[...] know I’m a fine one to talk but as a person with heightened awareness of problematic attitudes, believe me when I say, [...]