Archive for September, 2008

Pare Diaries

Posted in Book on September 24, 2008 by patrick

Jim Carroll was not the kind of memoirist who constantly worried about how certain passages of his diaries might someday translate to film. He definitely did not think, ‘Hmm, how would this entry look in the movie version?’ when he doggedly wrote what would eventually be known as The Basketball Diaries. He probably knew it was going to get published but that’s it. He must have had zero thoughts about how his diaries will one day become a movie starring, of all people, Leonardo DiCaprio. He was maybe half aware that he’s going to make it big in the literary scene but he was not giving a shit, at the time of writing the now hard to find diaries, about anything when he made the most compelling 200-page memoir ever put to print. The Basketball Diaries is one of the best fucking books ever. This book is pure.

If Holden Caulfield lived in the sixties, played basketball, wrote diaries, mastered the art of injecting heroin, was cool with girls, was a notch crazier, and were an actual person, he’d probably get along with Jim. Not that any of these characteristics would automatically translate to them being friends. Jim is a little offensive, bit of a jerk, and quite hospitable with the ‘flits’ whom Holden quietly despise. But as it is, if both of them lived in the same neighborhood, Jim would probably beat up Holden because let’s face it, Holden’s a bit of a wuss. Holden is yellow. Jim, on the other hand, is the class jock. He is the prep school bully who incurs the ire of prep school kids who turn their noses on stink cases like Jim. Not that kids like Jim care. His life is more exciting and he gets the best drugs on the block. Holden can’t even manage to get a hard on with a prostitute. But Holden can smoke. But if it came to, I’ll place my bets on the basketball star. The basketball star who gets high before and during major tournaments. The basketball hotshot who screws New York matronas and periodically, subway station homosexuals. With the probable exception of teenage dorks and gays, what boy at age 13 didn’t fantasize about living that kind of life?

Typically, I’d bore you and me with how gorgeous this book is. But some books, you just have to read them to know how great they are. So here are some bits:

Symbolic gestures are certainly self-satisfying but they are not too nourishing for anyone anywhere… I suggest that tomorrow, somebody symbolically stick a stale drum stick of today’s lunch up the ass of whoever was humane enough to organize this farce.

If you never do anything to make yourself seen… like really seen, the type that makes people point, then you don’t deserve to be seen at all.

And the clincher,

I just want to be pure…

Me too, Jim!

Jim Carroll is probably still alive today but if he has injected that much heroin and smoked that much smokes, he should be dead right about now. And if he Is still alive, it’s possible that he’ll blog. As a blogger, he probably would turn the comments function off and write profanity like Satan himself and not expect greatness from all the effort. I would probably stalk that blog and comment like a dork and annoy old man Jim. Then he’d turn the comment function on and tell me to get a life. And that would be awesome.

Rust

Posted in Briefs on September 17, 2008 by patrick

The bottles are surprisingly rust free tonight. It must have gone somewhere. In my soul, probably. What a very dramatic venue to be in but it must have been there. Or in the briefs. But I see no red or brown. I will get it there somehow, the rust, because I’m not strong enough to brave the Wednesday, this very uneventful, sorry, sorry day. Soon, every day will be a sorry day, and even sooner, the months will all be sorry months, and then the years. I know you’re rolling your eyes so majestically but there’s not much else I can say except these. I will get the rust in the briefs somehow because I am bored and I have to send the alert message throughout the immediate area and make it known. But as it happens, alertee A is with company. I fear the moment that this turns into tomorrow. It’s even more frightening tomorrow because there’s less energy and less sense left so there’d be more alert messages to be sent tomorrow than there were today. I’m not all about having really great Releases but it helps a lot that I do every once in a while. By release, I probably mean semen but since I’m still sensible, I probably mean all and any other sort of release but that which comes out of that really tiny but willing hole. This is all very disgusting but disgusting is what happens when you don’t think before you speak. Disgusting is what happens when you start speaking abstract. God, sometimes, you really just don’t come through. You just really don’t.

Doy,

Posted in Briefs on September 7, 2008 by patrick

What else could I be doing right this instant but that which you almost always catch me doing whenever you get home. But you’re never home that often because you have some serious landscaping affair at some crazy place at the oddest hours. I go to work at 7A whereas you get home at whatever hour so you couldn’t possibly catch me doing that which our other Friend taunt me for. I’ll give you a clue: it involves bottles. But it’s not such a big deal. It’s Sunday, the wrongest day to listen to Daft Punk but what the hell. It is 90% soothing to listen to incomprehensible stuff when you’re feeling so fucked. Yes, Doy, this is still addressed to you. I was thinking about My Future Plans and what I’m Supposed To Do About The Future and I got to think that maybe what I’m supposed to do is go abroad, some insane Middle Eastern country preferably, and work for exactly 2 years. There I’d meet an equally crazy Norwegian and have some Norway native marry me. And probably have kids. I have very loose grasp on reality but whatever. But all of that can wait. For now, I drink. The plans, those inane plans of mine can wait. What I really want to tell you is that I miss seeing you walk around the pad in just your underwear. I of course miss other things about you. Your wit, for example. Your obligatory absence. It’s obligatory because landscape architecture is a very demanding profession and that chosen profession means countless travels abroad. I don’t see you that often but everyday, I look forward to coming home and finding you crouched in the very filthy couch, just relaxing and maybe talking to your crazy but lucky Norwegian boy. That’s obviously not going to happen anymore because I got sad. I got sad and I had to move back. Back to where I stupidly belong. I definitely don’t belong to you and that smacks. It’s this year’s heartbreak. For me, mostly. I HAVE to return to the Lisbon house because I have to. It’s one of those unexplainable things that are actually explainable but I make them out like they’re complicated but they’re really not. It thrilled me that you texted just when I was going through the crazy process of moving my things out of the very classy closet that our classy Friend provided for me and it certainly felt like I was leaving something very valuable. The valuable just wasn’t there to witness the crazy. But the valuable definitely texted and I was very thrilled. I am now addressing the valuable and I’m half hopeful and half pitiful for thinking that you might stumble upon this. By the way, I’m a little sorry for having You know about the thing with the other friend which, if you think about it, was something any sad person would do, let someone know of an untrue admiration because it’s moderately depressing to be in a tower and be mostly alone. I hate it when people talk about things that are very vague, things that only they could understand and they sulk when they don’t get any sort of reaction, so I probably should be clear myself. Doy, I’m sorry that you think I’m into that other human, which may or may not affect how you perceive me as a deserting room mate. I’m totally in love with you and you alone. It’s very queer when someone says things like THESE, like totally in love with you and you alone but I am okay with queerness. I don’t suppose that that’s an issue. I have been through so many embarrassing shit and this one is hardly qualified. I am using your actual name for F’s sake. Something I shouldn’t have done when I did a certain diary. But this is something akin to love and I just can’t resist and it’s only partly because of the alcohol. Please stumble and help me recover. You can try.